I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Let's paint friendship bongs
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
