The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
