its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
