Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
