Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
You were trust falling into bushes
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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