im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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