it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
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