Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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