I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
You're a waste of cheezeits
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
