So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Randomize
