Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
