Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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