I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
What a dumb baby whore.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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