it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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