I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
