you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
My hand turned me down
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
