btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
this beer tastes like vomit already
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
