I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
