One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
