Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize