she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize