Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Randomize
