I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
