Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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