I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize