Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
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