I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Randomize