she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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