Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
