I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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