I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
