Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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