i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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