you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
