After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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