He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
