if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
