I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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