I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
