Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
