That's when you crack a 10am beer
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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