I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
it hurts more in the daytime
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
