Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
In America we eat man semen.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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