I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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