i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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