You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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