I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
