dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
