Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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