You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
