Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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