Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
