Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
