butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
