After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
