i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
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