i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I AM VODKA MAN
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
