God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
How's work?
Spinning.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
