i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
