I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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