I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
